acrofiti

According to Monica L. Miceli, acrofiti is a combination of acrobatics and graffiti. It refers to the stunning physical prowess and steady artistic hand that graffiti artists must possess to paint their renderings in unexpected places, such as busy freeway overhangs and ladderless roadside billboards, without killing themselves. Although experts have never seen acrofiti in action, the proof lies in the existence of the art. (Originally posted December 29, 2003)

toomorning

Young children are metaplastic word generating machines. How do they do it?

This word was coined by one of Margaret Drew's daughters. "She couldn't quite get her tongue around 'tomorrow morning,'" explains Margaret. "So when I put her to bed at night, she'd say, 'see you toomorning' - much easier to say and I've never forgotten it (though that was almost 40 years ago)."

This metaplastic word is interesting as a forensic signpost that shows the trend towards the creation of new words through contraction, i.e. good night becomes g'night. Now, 40 years later we see some of the most extreme examples with Instant Messaging abbreviations becoming words, i.e. lol, fwiw, brb. (Originally posted October 9, 2003)

weary

Metaplastic homonyms like this one are a favorite of the Metaplasm team.

"One that I heard my brother use a number of years ago was 'weary', as in 'I'd be a little weary of doing that.'," Steve Terry explains. "Of course he meant either 'leery' or 'wary', but the inadvertant portmanteau was interesting in that 'weary' is something you might become if you were to do something you were leery or wary of."

"Exactly right Steve," says Metaplasm staffer, Tim C. "I'm always weary of a trip to the in-laws and by the time the visit is over I'm weary from my trip to the in-laws." (Originally posted December 8, 2003)

predictament

WCB defines "predictament" as the word that describes when you plan to take an action that will no doubt get you into a tough spot. (Originally posted December 6, 2003)

wemon

An apparent misspelling of "women" by a fellow student in Kelly Snodgrass's class, Kelly points out that a possible meaning of this metaplastic word can be found after replacing the "w" with a "d".  The Metaplasm staff wonders if all "wemons" wear red dresses. (Originally posted December  2, 2003)

presdifigurators

"I like referring to accountants using sleight of hand in their accounting methods as presdifigurators", says Deb Wolf. So far no one has found it as amusing as me", she adds.

The metaplasm staff points out that accountants aren't known for their sense of humor and that those taken advantage of by "presdifigurators" may not find anything laughable about their situation, but for what it's worth we think it's quite amusing. (Originally posted November 17, 2003)

pseudophagus

Pronounced /soo'doph a gus/ - n., a false esophagus.

"During an operation for cancer of the esophagus the surgeon formed an esophageal extension to my stomach," explains Tim McElroy. "Upon learning of this work, I asked him if this extension could be medically referred to as a 'pseudophagus'. He stared at me blankly, shrugged his shoulders, and went on about his rounds."

Always suckers for new medical and scientific names the metaplasm staff does not understand the doctor's apparent indifference to Tim's metaplastic breakthrough. We suspect he put on a poker face while rushing off to have the new word published under his name in Lancet or the New England Journal of Medicine. (Originally posted October 9, 2003)

lactomangulation

This highly technical metaplastic term, was submitted by Paula Superti.  Lactomangulation occurs most frequently in pre-school and kindergarten environments however it is known to occur at all levels of educational institutions. It is observed when after several unsuccessful attempts at opening the v-shaped, glued opening on a milk container, one is left with a rubbery amorphous-shaped opening that is unlikely to allow maximum beverage flow. Lactomangulation could also be used in the medical community to describe a condition that occurs in breastfeeding mothers when baby's first teeth come in. (Originally posted September 24, 2003)

plubby

A mixture of "plump" and "chubby" this word is attributed to Anne Collins Smith's grandmother who according to Smith, "used the term 'plubby' as a euphemism for "slightly overweight." (Originally posted November 11, 2003)

flealines

"I long ago began calling our housecats "flealines," for their tendency to track in the nasty little pests from their outdoor trips," says Connie Xenia Crouch. This reminds the metaplasm staff of another pet related metaplastic word coined to describe a gender confused dog that got a little too "friendly" with other male dogs in the neighborhood. Two points if you can guess the word. (Originally posted November 4, 2003)

collutions

This is an example of the "Let's Invent an Unpronounceable Word Out of Two Perfectly Good Words" school of corporate naming. A combination of "collaborative" and "solutions" that ends up sounding a little too close to "collusion" to inspire confidence. Possible definition: Working together to solve problems through fraudulent, illegal, or deceitful methods. (Originally posted October 9, 2003)

zipappeared

Coined in 1956 by Linda Sheron's then six-year-old brother, the word is still in use by friends and family, according to Linda, due to much more frequent Senior Moments. Something "zipappears" when you have it in your hand or on your desk, turn around and are unable to find it immediately thereafter. It's definition could be: to pass out of sight with a speed that suggests a sharp hissing or zipping sound. (Originally posted October 1, 2003)

zoomanity

Cirque Du Soleil may be taking the high road with their spelling (zumanity) of this metaplastic word but anyone who has attended a rock festival, visited a major theme park or participated in any gathering of people larger than a family picnic should understand why there is more zoo than human in our spelling. Proper usage: "From the main stage at Lollapalooza the roiling sea of zoomanity stretching to the horizon seemed to have spontaneously emerged from the primordial ooze of the mud pit." (Originally posted September 17, 2003)

ecleptic

Found on the web both as a misspelling of "ecliptic" (pertaining to an eclipse) and "eclectic" (made up of or combining elements from a variety of sources) it suggests a combination of "eclectic" and "epileptic" (pertaining to a medical condition characterized by convulsive seizures) with a possible definition of: made up of or combining elements from such divergent and unrelated sources as to appear to be the result of a convulsive seizure. (Originally posted October 1, 2003)

slunched

Submitted by Ben Cairns "slunched" is a metaplastic word that juxtaposes the passive defeat and surrender of "slumped" against the more active bending or drawing up of "hunched". Proper usage: "Ben sat slunched over his desk, ready to apply himself to the test he knew he was sure to fail". (Originally posted October 1, 2003)

bractile

A combination of “bracket” and “percentile” this word was coined by Doris A. Pyles' husband years ago when she accepted her first job out of college. According to Doris, her husband was considering the tax consequences of a real job and wondered into what tax “bractile” they would be elevated. Look for this metaplastic word to be used soon by the IRS as part of a tax simplification program. (Originally posted September 24, 2003)

ridicularity

Morphing "ridiculous" and "hilarity" into this blended word was Rob La Raus' way of extending the language for when "absurd" just didn't quite offer the correct connotation. This word also seems to borrow definition from the possibility that it could be a combination of "ridiculous" and "singularity", i.e. A person, place or thing that has the quality or state of being so preposterous or laughable as to make it distinct from all others.  (Originally posted September 24, 2003)

pornival

Living in Las Vegas K Creekmore coined this word to describe Cirque Du Soleil's Zumanity show which is described on their website as "a provocative and arousing display of human sensuality". According to Creekmore, people who have seen the show have described it as "a carnival of adult entertainment" which seems to be the appropriate definition for this metaplastic word. (Originally posted September 17, 2003)

deflicted

This metaplastic word, submitted by Clint McInnes, is the marriage of the words "defective" and "afflicted".  "As far as I know, my maternal grandmother coined it some seventy years ago, and it's been in use in our family ever since," says Clint. "It applies to objects, systems, philosophies (or occasionally people) that, due to some flaw, just plain won't work.  If something is deflicted, the chances of it ever again [working/operating/applying to life in general] are dubious at best." Originally posted September  8, 2003)

bioneer

Submitted by Robi Ayles who came across this metaplastic word in a newsletter in which the usage seemed to suggest a combination of "biological" and "pioneer" with environmental activist overtones. However, when read outside of that context the word suggests, at least to the metaplasm staff, a top secret group of Florida based biological engineers creating next generation theme park amusements that will one day prove to be a menace to life as we know it. (Originally posted September  5, 2003)